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Panda Hat
"'Panda Hat'" is the second episode of Dick Figures. It explains the consequences of Red being drunk on his birthday. Plot/Summary The episode begins with Blue singing "Happy Birthday" to Red as he then notices Red is drunk, Red tells him that he want them to grow old together in every way, Red then startes to dance as he falls and says his popular line: Hey Ladies! Red comes to a girl and think that he says "Knock Knock. Whos there? Sex, Sex Who? Sex with ME! BOOM!!" but he actually says "Hey baby, birthday boghthnbrgnb hahahha,﻿ knock knock" the girl then hits him with a bottle. Red then starts to make random drunken things, first asking the bartender "Is this real life? Now?", and then laying under a table saying "My eyes are puzzle pieces!" and then talking to a toilet saying "Let's grow old together in every way, except for the gay way". Blue tells him that he's making out the toilet, pretty hard. Red answers him with "Your mom's making out a lampost! YEAH!!! heh, hey, you leave her out of this!" and then he begins throwing up, on Blue! The last sentence is that Blue says "I hate you! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!" Transcript {Episode starts with Blue walking to Red singing Happy Birthday while Red chugs a bottle of beer while on top of a table..) Blue: (singing) Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday from Blue! and you're drunk... Red: (breathes in deeply,then leans forward quickly,breaking a few bottles beside him.) Blue: How's the,uh,birthday? Red: (drunk) You're not even chzth with a panda hat. Blue: Oh,yeah. Cool... Red: (drunk,he went down the table and embraces Blue.) Hehe! Blue. Blue: What? Red: Blue! Blue. What? Red: BbBbBbBlue... Blue: What?! Red: BuhBuhBlue-eh. Blue: What?! Red: Listen. Blue: WHAT?! Red: (deep and evil voice) LISTEN! (drunk) I love you! Okay,wait agbluh let's grow old together in every way! (deep and evil voice,background starts to blaze.) EVERY WAY! Blue: (tries to leave Red) Eeeh... (disco ball drops down next to Red and Red starts to dance.) Red: Dance party fo Red! (Red crashes into the glass fragments from the bottles earlier. Red gets up with the fragments stuck on him. Disco ball disappears.) Red: Yeah! Hey, ladies! (Red walks up to a girl.) Blue: AH! MACK! Red: Knock knock. Who's there? Sex. Sex who? Sex with me BOOM! (black sunglasses suddenly pop out in front of Red's eyes then Red stroke a pose.) Lady: (gasp) That's so romantic! Call me! Red: Whatever! (Red walks away.) Blue: Oh my God dude what happened? Red: I know right! What a piyaaah! (clip rewinds back quickly to when Red spoke with the lady.) Red: (drunk) Hey baby! Blehblehbloobleblebloohehehe! Knock knock. (Lady breaks her beer bottle on the countertop. Next scene ends up with Red having a broken bottle on his head.) Blue: Wow,dude you're really drunk. (Blue removes the broken bottle on Red's head. Blood is visible on the sharp tips.) Blue: I gotta get you home. Red: (drunk) YEAH RIGHT! I'm fine! I have never puked from throwing up. Blue: You mean drinking? Red: (breathes in) TRICKER! TRICKER! TRICKER! TRICKER! TRICKER! Blue: Red! Groan... (scene changes to the lady earlier and the Raccoon.) Lady: Ugh! Men are such pigs! Raccoon: I can go all night a-baby! I'm a-nocturnal! Grrr... (Red speaks with his reflection in a mirror.) Red: (drunk) Yoh! No! Meh! (Red speaks all by himself. Bartender observes him.) Red: (drunk) Is this real life? Now? (Red lies down on the floor.) Red: (drunk) My eyes are puzzle pieces! (Red seems to be talking with someone.) Red: (drunk) Let's grow old together in every way! Except for the gay way! (Camera zooms out which shows that Red is talking with a toilet. He dunkd hids head in the toilet and pulls the trigger. A flush sound is heard.) Blue: It's time to go,dude. You're bringing that toilet really hard... (Red puts out his head from the toilet.) Red: You're mom's making out with a lamp post. YEAH! H-hey...You leave heroutta this! (Video slows down,deepening everybody's voice.. Red's stomach becomes wavy.) Red: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh... Blue: Oooooooooooh! Red: Urrruuuuugh! Blue: Noooooooooo! Red: IT'S COMING TO! Blue: Are you kidding me?! Red: Yeee-(Video speed is back to normal. Red vomits on Blue.) Blue: IS THAT WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE WHEN YOU PUKE?! Red: I DON'T KNOW! (Red continues to vomit on Blue. Eventually Blue lies down and cries out.) Red: You don't know how bad- (Red coninues to vomit on Blue.) Blue: I hate you! Red: HAHAHAHA! Blue: I hate you sooo much! -Episode ends- Gallery Video thumb|300px|left Category:Episodes